Groundhog Life - 7 Top Tips To Transform It

Is your life becoming somewhat repetitive – do the same issues and challenges keep cropping up, over and over? Are you having the same negative conversations and getting the same negative feelings at work every day?

We all experience this at some time, but when it feels as if it is all the time it may indicate that now may be the right time to take stock and do something about it. It is possible to set yourself free from the ‘groundhog life’ – here are my top 7 tips to turn your life around.

1.      The first step is to actually recognise it. Life will keep giving us the same lessons, often in different guises, until we learn the lessons and can move on. So first you need to become aware of the scripts you are repeating, which aren’t serving to increase your happiness and wellbeing. The sooner you do this the better. So have a look at your life and discover the negative scripts you are running, both at home and at work.

2.      Write down the negative scripts that you keep repeating to yourself. Maybe you aren’t happy at work, you have applied for promotions and been unsuccessful and have begun running scripts around “I’ll never get ahead”, “people like me don’t get promotion”, “I’m just not good enough”. Write them all out so you can actually see them. Getting them out in the open and accepting that this is what you are telling yourself is often enough to bring about changes. Take a few weeks to write them all down as you think of them, along with the way the script makes you feel and any associated thoughts and feelings that come up.

3.      Now you need to develop a vision of how you want it to be. You need clarity on what you actually do want before you can move forward. When I work with ambitious, professional ladies I begin with a values exercise to enable them to find out what is important to them right now – what their purpose is. It’s no good making a change if it isn’t the right change. You need to know what you truly want and need in your life before you can decide how you want your life or work situation to be. Once you are clear on your values, write a detailed description of your ideal working day from waking up to going to sleep at the end of the day. Spend time adding to it and making changes until it feels perfect. This is your goal. You can now measure your current situation and progress against this ideal.

4.      Now return to your negative scripts and challenge them. If you are saying “people like me don’t get promotion” challenge this by asking “Where’s the evidence for this?” “Really?” “Never?” On a piece of paper, make two columns – one headed evidence in support and the other evidence against and begin to list all the evidence you can come up with. It probably won’t take long for you to realise that the evidence doesn’t stack up in support of your negative belief.

5.      If you find the evidence does support your negative scripts then ask “what can I do about it?” This will open your mind to possibilities – write them down – all of them, however wacky. You don’t censor the ideas at this stage. By now you should be beginning to believe that you do have choices and options and what you want is possible – if you are prepared to make a few changes.

6.      The next step is to rewrite your negative scripts to make them more positive and supportive. So “people like me don’t get promotion” might become “There are three women who used to do my job and are now in senior management or on the board – if they can do it, so can I”. You are going to have to make a mindset shift for things to change. You might also ask them for tips on how best to gain promotion – I’m sure they will have many stories and will be very willing to share advice with anyone who really wants to listen and learn.

7.      Use your new, positive and empowering scripts to develop a plan of what you will do to make the changes happen. I have already suggested one action. I am sure there will be many more – practical action steps that will move you in the direction of your goal. My luxury, intensive seminars, webinar programmes and personalised programmes all address the issues that may arise with very practical steps to take to get ahead of your competition. It is my passion to help you get the job and lifestyle you want.

So now you have my 7 top tips for regaining control of your life and making each day deliciously different and packed full of potential.

I would love to know how you get on with these top tips, so please email me at sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk with your stories.

If you would like to know more about my services and how I can support you, then email enquiries@successandimagecoach.co.uk

I look forward to hearing from you.

Copyright © 2012, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

How To Get To The Top Part 2 by Sue Courtney

Since it has been demonstrated that mixed gender departments produce more profits for companies, exactly what is stopping women getting to the top? And what can be done about it?

 

Succession planning in some companies is woefully inadequate. Grooming the most appropriate candidate for an up-coming position would, automatically include a number of women, so this is a place to start. It will work as long as women are encouraged and supported. So often they are not.

 

Too often the feedback I receive from women is that men often feel threatened by successful or ambitious women and so do what they can to hold them back. Disappointingly, the “old boy’s network” is alive and still thriving at the higher levels of many companies in this country.

 

In Norway businesses have benefitted from the implementation of a quota system. All companies are required to have women holding at least 40% of all boardroom positions. Richard Branson reports that the figure is now “an encouraging 44%”. However, this doesn’t translate into CEO status, where the figure is around 2%. This system brings a balance of experience and viewpoints and since the population is made up of both men and women it makes sense to have both equally represented at decision-making level in companies. This may soon become the law in the UK, as the EU is considering implementing it as law for the whole of Europe. Watch this space to see how it works.

 

Richard Branson also points out, in his article “Why We Need More Women in the Boardroom”, that since 70% of household purchasing decisions are made by women – from the brand of shampoo to the house, car and holiday– and since, often, 50% of the employees in a company are women, surely it makes sense to have them equally represented at the decision-making end of the company.

 

He goes on to suggest that companies might begin by considering the opportunities available for women to advance their career in the company – beginning with asking the female employees themselves for their experiences and advice. Such wise words.

 

However, this won’t address the most pressing reasons for the lack of female applicants for top jobs, which are

·         Lack of affordable childcare – the biggest issue for mothers wishing to return to work after birth.

·         Lack of shared parental leave after childbirth

·         Lack of long parental leave entitlement by fathers – mothers have long leave options, fathers are usually lucky if they have a couple of weeks.

·         The impact maternity leave can have on small companies.

·         The reluctance of some companies to promote women because they are unwilling to address the changes that this would require.

 

Not all companies can offer subsidised childcare for their staff, I accept that. But something has to be done to stem the loss of top talent in business.

 

Flexible working is an option. In the examples I have seen it rather looks and feels like being a small business owner, working from home. It allows employees to work out their own schedules and fit work round school runs and other meetings. This works as well for fathers as mothers and is something I read about many years ago, when it was seen as the future of business in the UK. Hmm. That prediction didn’t quite work out, did it?

 

There are many who are against quotas, preferring targets instead. There is currently a target to have 25% women board members by 2015, and certainly there is evidence that this would have a beneficial effect on society and business in the future.

 

 

So what are the answers?

As many and varied as there are companies I suspect.

 

 

I firmly believe that it has to be possible to “have it all”. That, if they so wish, women should be able to pursue a career, reach the top and also bring up a family – but it needs enormous determination on the part of both women and companies to achieve this.

 

However, I stress, “If they so wish”. Not every woman has to want to reach the top – any more than every man has to. It is time we got honest about what we really want, worked out what it will cost not just in financial terms, but also in terms of lifestyle, happiness and peace of mind. It should be as acceptable in the UK as it is in Norway, for men to stay at home and bring up the children – if that is their choice.

 

It also helps to have supportive family and to have the luxury of deciding when the right moment for career advancement is. It may be from the moment of birth or it may be once the children are older. Equally it may be to not have children at all. Again, no right answer – just a personal choice.

 

So, from my research, the main factors affecting the number of women reaching the top of their career ladder are

·         The attitude of the largely male-dominated upper echelons of major companies

·         The lack of affordable childcare

·         A lack of confidence in their ability to fulfil a role – especially if the job specification is worded in ‘male’ language

·         Women’s own doubt about the effort to reward ratio being worth the potential sacrifices.

 

My solutions?

·         Re-write job advertisements and job specifications to use more female friendly language. It would be great if companies would use more neutral language, but failing that, do it yourself and see the difference in your confidence.

·         Do the maths. Actually work out the financial benefits to pursuing your career against the cost of childcare. Then factor in your happiness, which is priceless. Do what feels right for you – otherwise you will be resentful, whichever choice you make.

·         Childcare not an issue? Great. Develop a plan – a detailed plan of all you will need to do, get a coach or mentor and get to work on achieving your goal. Be relentless in your pursuit of success – and be open to changing companies, sectors or career if that is what it takes.

 

I am able to provide a tailor made solution in the form of my unique 3 step MAP system for career success. This is available as

·         Option 1 - a series of 12 webinars with manual, over 6 months for those wanting an affordable option.

( sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk )

·         Option 2 - A luxury, intensive weekend event, where clients use the whole of my MAP system to begin to develop their individual strategy for success. This works well for those who are impatient and want to get their career moving quickly. ( sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk )

·         Option 3 - my bespoke promotion programme, providing individual support whilst using my MAP system. This is for those who want an individual programme and one to one support throughout the process. ( sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk )

 

 

I am very happy to offer a complimentary strategy call to discuss options and whether any of the above would be suitable for your needs.

 

Whatever you decide to do – make it your conscious, positive decision, develop a plan and do something towards achieving your goal every day.

 

I would love to hear about your experiences of this issue – both positive and negative, so please email me with your thoughts at

sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk

 

 

copyright © 2012, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.