7 Top Tips For What To Wear

7 Top Tips For What To Wear–

For interviews, dating – anything!

Recently I was asked to be the guest expert speaker on a teleseminar run by the relationship expert George Pirinizi (www.AttractYourIdealPartner.com). I was to talk about what to wear on a first date and to attract a partner, generally. Now, this is not something I often have to consider, but I agreed to speak on the teleseminar and thought about what my top 7 tips would be.

It occurred to me that my 7 top tips would be relevant for dressing for any occasion. The principles remain the same, whatever the circumstances – the only difference is in the items of clothing you would select to wear for the different occasions.

However, it is no good dressing to impress someone and not being yourself. The idea is to enhance ‘you’ by dressing to look the best version of you – the one who knows how to look effortlessly stylish.

So, in reverse order, here are my 7 Top Tips for what to wear – at any time!

7. The “Best-Front-Room” Syndrome

Do you remember the days when most families had a “best room” that was reserved for special guests and Christmas? Or the “best” tea set that was rarely used – every day the family had to make do with mismatched crockery?

Well, too many women adopt this principle with their clothes – keeping a few choice items for “best” and wearing cheaper, less flattering clothes for every day. Don’t.

I don’t see the point in dressing down for work, when that is where you will be seen by most people, and dressing up and looking your best only occasionally. The result of this is that, often, the best clothes go out of fashion and have to the ditched before they have been worn more than once or twice. What a waste.

No, don’t save your fab look for social events, dates and interviews. You are special – treat yourself as such and wear your “best” often – to work, to the pub, shopping, to put the bin out....! You deserve to look your best at all times. You don’t need loads of clothes to look good, just a core of well fitting, flattering items that you can mix and match.

Far better to have to ditch gorgeous clothes because you wore them out than because they went out of fashion before you had the chance to wear them.

6. Less is More

The “decked out like a Christmas tree” look is not elegant or stylish. The general rule is don’t wear more than 3 accessories at any one time. Also, don’t wear earrings and necklaces at the same time. I know they can be bought as sets, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear them together. If you wear earrings, leave your neck unadorned. If you wear a necklace, leave your ears bare.

Take the advice of Coco Chanel – before leaving the house, look in the mirror and remove one item.

Dress simply to look stunning.

5.Mix and Match

Never buy a whole outfit from one collection, it isn’t stylish. Mix and match to let the authentic you shine through. You don’t want people to admire that outfit from XXX. You want them to admire your wonderful sense of style. So mix it up.

I love to wear a gorgeous, expensive, tailored shift dress (which is really quite smart) with a lovely leather biker jacket. It gives a quite unexpected edge to the look.

Also, don’t go for high fashion looks – they rarely suit and rarely look good. They certainly aren’t a good investment of your money.

As Yves Saint Laurent said “Fashion Fades, Style is Eternal”.

Oh yes, and another tip – the neckline/hemline rule.

If your hemline rises, the neckline should rise too.

If your neckline drops so should your hemline.

This avoids the ‘belt’ look when the two meet in the middle! Not stylish.

4. PPPPPP or Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance

I imagine you have never heard this uses in relation to dressing. But it is as relevant to what you wear as any other aspect of your life.

·       If you are going out shopping for clothes then take the shoes you will wear with the outfit with you – or borrow from the shop. This is especially important when buying trousers and jeans.

·       If you are buying for a special occasion – date, interview, wedding etc. then buy in advance and wear the outfit around the house to get used to how it feels and works. On a special occasion you want to feel confident and be able to give your attention to the matter in hand, being yourself, not worried about whether the skirt rides up, the zip will split, the front of the blouse is gaping or whatever else proper planning can alleviate.

3. Build on a Strong Foundation

A properly fitting bra is essential. It can alter the way clothes fit and look on you and can change your shape by a size. So get properly fitted as a priority. It isn’t an exact science and you may need to take as many as ten bras of the same size into the fitting room to find one that fits properly. It is worth the effort.

Get re-fitted regularly, at least every twelve to eighteen months.

Now we have all been guilty of buying gorgeous sets of undies for that ‘special occasion’ and wearing really quite ‘manky’ undies every day – it’s that “best-front-room” syndrome again. Don’t do it. You know how wonderful you feel in the good stuff – so wear it every day – for YOU.

2. Extreme care

Take care of your clothes – they are an investment.

I once did a Wardrobe De-Tox session for a woman who had a great many expensive designer dresses and outfits in her wardrobe – well some of them were, others were in a heap in the corner of the room, dirty, in need of mending and unwearable.  Don’t be like that.

Before I put anything into my wardrobe I ensure it is ready to wear again – so I check to see whether items need cleaning, ironing or mending. I have a shoe cleaning basket in the wardrobe and always check my shoes and clean them before replacing them in their box.

If clothes need dry cleaning don’t have them cleaned too often as this will weaken the fabric. But do take care of your clothes and they will take care of you.

When you open your wardrobe door you want to feel inspired not terrified.

1.Dress for your Shape.

There is no perfect shape. Those who appear to have a ‘perfect’ shape will be a fortunate combination of several. Most of us would rather have a different shape and most of us are a combination of two or more shapes, but acceptance is crucial. If you know and accept the shape you are you can begin to use this information to your advantage to dress to flatter your shape and look fab all the time.

You may be an apple, pear, rhubarb, strawberry or hourglass shape (see blog “Dress for your Shape” for details) but as long as you dress to enhance the shape you actually are and follow my other top tips you will always look stylish and draw attention in a positive and authentic way.

If you haven’t already done so, might I suggest that you go to my website, www.successandimagecoach.co.uk  and get yourself a copy of my FREE book “The Ultimate Guide to Personal Rebranding for Professional Females Climbing the Corporate Ladder”. All the information about the different shapes is in there as well as many more expert tips and hints.

So go there NOW and claim your FREE BOOK at www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk

Copyright © 2012, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

Love the Life You've Got Now (While You Work To Improve It)

Love the Life you’ve got now

(while you work to improve it)

On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your life at the moment? I imagine not many of you can honestly say ten to all areas of your life – it just doesn’t work like that, does it? There are usually one or two areas that are working better than others and a few that need a complete overhaul. But what can you do about it? In her book “Simple Abundance. A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests that you bloom where you are planted. Right at this moment you may not have the perfect career, home or relationship but you do have the opportunity to make it as good as you possibly can today, and plan how you are going to improve it further tomorrow.

 Recently I introduced my local Chamber of Commerce to the Wheel of Life, a coaching tool to structure an assessment of how each area of your life or business is doing. It then leads on to developing an action plan to improve the situation and move closer to the life you truly want. Blooming where you are, or making the most of your current life is a good place to start, but there is absolutely no reason to accept it as your lot in life. Using the Wheel of Life you can begin to plan small adjustments that will lead you to achieve the life you would like.

The wheel of life is a circle, divided into six segments, each of which is further divided into 5 sections. The first step is to decide which area of your life or business you will assign to each segment. You could choose career, finance, family, relationships, leisure, home – whatever seems appropriate to you.

For each area of life you then decide what perfection would look like and feel like to you. You can’t make your life perfect for someone else, only you. Let them sort out their own life, this is for you and you alone. So if one area is home, what would your ideal home look like? Where would it be? How many rooms would it have? How would the house be furnished? What would the garden look like? Make it as real and inspiring as possible. Then ask yourself why you want it to be like this? What is the essence of the vision? Is it ‘old world charm’ when you currently live on the fourth floor of a modern apartment block or ‘modern minimalist’ when you are juggling the demands of full time work and four children? If you know the essence of what you are trying to achieve then you may be able to introduce little aspects of it into your current life to make things a little more bearable.

If leisure is an area you have chosen to focus on, ask what you would love to do with your leisure if time and money were no object? Would you eat out more, go to shows or concerts, have several holidays a year, join a golf club or go windsurfing or horse riding or dancing?  Then ask yourself what is the core reason? What is the feeling you will have when you are able to spend your leisure doing what you love? Once you know the essence of the activity ask how you can inject a little of that into your leisure now. What could you do now to give a bit of that feeling?

OK, you get the idea. The next section asks you to rate your current life against the goal of perfection which you identified in the previous section. One indicates that nothing works and the area needs a complete overhaul. Ten indicates that perfection has already been attained. If you join all the numbers up around the wheel you may end up with a fairly even circle at about 5 or 6. You may, though, have a rather jagged circle with some peaks and troughs. This will indicate the areas of your life which need most urgent action and those which are not too bad at present.

Outside the wheel are a series of boxes labelled ‘Strengths’. There is one box for each segment of the wheel. In each box you can list everything that is working in each area. What is quite good? What could you build on? In home you could list that you actually have a home or a room that you can work on. In leisure it may be that you actually have an hour or so to call your own each week. Dig deep and be as positive as possible. They say you get more of what you focus on so maximise the good.

So now you know what perfection would look and feel like, you know how life currently rates and you have identified what is currently good in your life. Next you go round the wheel and ask the question

“If there was just one thing I could do that would move me a small step closer to my goal of perfection in this area what would it be?”

If more than one idea comes to mind then list them and decide which you feel most compelled to do. At the moment they are just ideas that you could do if you chose to. What would have to do to cause some positive change?

What one thing could you do to get the process started?

What are the barriers that may stop you from taking this action or achieving your goal in this area of life? This is a really important aspect of the process so please don’t skimp on it. The barriers may be physical such as not living in the right sort of house or not having any spare time. They may also be self imposed limiting beliefs that you need to identify and deal with before you can successfully achieve your goals. Whatever they turn out to be, take them seriously and give them the attention they require. If you know what you are dealing with you are better able to take the appropriate action. If you don’t have any spare time then you might consider reorganising your time, re-prioritising tasks and delegating. If you don’t live in the right sort of house could you do a bit of clever decorating and accessorising?

If you have limiting beliefs then take advice from Anthony Robbins. He says that beliefs are like a table top, they have to be supported by a certain number of legs or evidence. The trick is to destroy the legs of the beliefs by finding enough evidence to the contrary. Then make a new, empowering belief and actively seek evidence to support the new belief. It may take time but it will be well worth the effort.

The final step is to list all the actions you need to take to reach ten in each area and do something each day to move you towards that goal. Paul McKenna suggests making a time line to show the steps you will have to have taken in order to get from where you are to where you want to be. This is not a quick process but you may find that by focussing on one area for a while – maybe the one that will have the biggest impact on your life, or the one that seems easiest to start with – other areas will be improved as a result. Life is, after all, interconnected and creating the life you truly want should be a lifetimes work. There will always be new goals to achieve to replace the goals achieved. Enjoy the journey it is all part of your life and you deserve to have the life you want.

One action you could take is to go to www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk to claim your copy of my FREE book "The Ultimate Guide to Personal Rebranding for Professional Females Climbing the Corporate Ladder". Go on - it's really very good!

One final thought, for now – if you find yourself stuck and you are struggling to achieve a goal it could be that your goal and your values are in conflict. Your goal may be to embark on a risky financial venture when your key value around finances is stability. Take some time to discover your core values in relation to each area on the wheel and ask yourself whether your goals are compatible with your values.

If you would like to explore more then go to my website where you can purchase my “Wheel of Life” CD and Workbook set. This will really get you moving in the right direction and taking action.

Have a look at www.successandimagecoach.co.uk

Copyright © - 2011, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

Try Before You Buy

Try Before You Buy by Sue Courtney

In 2010 I was in Goa fulfilling several goals and also trialling living there to see if it would suit me long term. This had been a goal for some years and I was very fortunate to be in a position to try the life I thought I wanted to live before making any firm commitments. Trying a lifestyle or goal is vitally important, I have done it on several occasions as it can serve two purposes. Firstly it enables your visualising of accomplishing the goal to feel real as you can exactly place where doors are in a house or see the real view from the window in your mind’s eye, making the visualisation more realistic. You are in a position to really feel the goal and so make the effects of the visualisation much stronger. This was how it worked when I took the car of my dreams for a test drive. It confirmed my belief that I would love to own the car, which I now do.

Alternatively, if the goal turns out to be not what you want after all, you have the opportunity to make a new choice before it is too late. This was the case when I made an appointment to view a house that I particularly liked in Chichester, some years ago. I realised, very quickly, that I wouldn’t like to live in the house and so I was able to delete that goal from my list and make a new choice.

So, either way it is a useful tool to employ, if you possibly can. So I went to Goa to do just that. As the plane landed I removed the rose – coloured spectacles through which I had previously viewed the state and vowed to really get a true idea of how it would feel to live there. I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, which was a wonderfully educational experience.

With each day and each new experience I asked myself

“Would this make me happy every day?”

Of course, in order to do this I had to spend a great deal of time figuring out what actually does make me happy. I have had to work out what I need to be present to make my life feel “good” and what I need to be absent to make my life feel “good”. These are not always easy or comfortable questions to ask.

 I have discovered a worryingly low boredom threshold, meaning that I am not able to spend very long at all sitting around doing nothing. I always suspected that I wasn’t very good at it, but I become twitchy and fidgety very quickly. I have also discovered that I am not prepared to “dress down” every day in t-shirt and skirt. I like to dress up and look my best, wearing nice clothes and shoes. Flip-flops and a bikini just don’t do it for me all the time. I have also noticed that I like to have the option to visit the theatre, the cinema of enjoy a meal in a smart restaurant when the fancy takes me (admittedly it doesn’t take me very often, but I need to have the option available, for when it does).

Clearly, I have changed. I am no longer the “closet hippie”. I need other things. In all honesty I don’t know whether I would ever have been able to sustain the look and the lifestyle for long, but the necessity to discover the truth of the situation has been very instructive. I am more realistic now, I think.

I was there during the Hindu festival of Holi. I had never experienced it before and knew nothing of its significance, but I am very glad that I experienced it while I was there. Holi is a festival of high spirits – large groups of brightly dressed Hindu women moved up and down the beach, singing and shouting whilst holding bags of powder paint. They were all covered in the colourful powder and looked as if they were ready to throw the colours over the tourists as sometimes happens. They didn’t, but a Rajastani woman came up to me and, dipping her thumb in her crisp packet of yellow powder paint, she placed a smudge of it over my “third eye”. I had been “Holi’d”! I gave her some money and thought no more about it. With the heat and sweat the paint changed colour from yellow to red and remained for about twenty four hours, surviving two showers.

That is when things really changed. I got real and honest and realised that not only would living there no longer work for me, but that nowhere other than England was going to do. After years of believing that “the grass was greener” in other countries and that I could be happier somewhere else I have reached something akin to enlightenment! It feels really good. I feel more at peace as I know that I no longer have to search for the right place to settle – I’m there already. I am reminded of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz as she mutters “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home....”.

I am so very lucky to have had the opportunity to discover this. If I hadn’t I would either have made a big mistake or spent the rest of my life disconsolately imagining that I could be happier somewhere else and bitterly wondering “What if..”. I feel a great weight has been lifted and I can now get on with my life.

As, I have already mentioned, I have discovered a very low boredom threshold and so I have managed to read a vast number of books while I have been here, as well as doing quite a lot of writing. Most of the books are not those I would normally entertain but I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed most of them – I’m still learning about myself and what I like! I romped through a five hundred page “chic lit” novel in two days but the biggest literary surprise has been an unusual novel “The Saddlebag” by Bahiyyih Nakhjavani. I have found it compelling in a way I would never have believed. It is set in the mid nineteenth century and tells the tales of nine individuals as they travel the route between Mecca and Medina. The saddlebag of the title holds writings. As each traveller removes one from the bag and reads it they realise that it is strangely relevant to their life and questions they need to address. Fascinating. A sort of Middle Eastern “Canterbury Tales”.

So I wondered what message I would have discovered, rolled up and wrapped in silk, if I had found the saddlebag? The answer I received was startling. Apparently I would have received the instructions to plan more carefully, “conduct due diligence” more often and take a more measured approach to life. The answer came instantly and is so true.

So, if you are contemplating making changes in your life I urge you to “try before you buy” wherever possible and to really get to know what makes you happy before committing to a course of action. Alternatively you could just go to Goa and be “Holi’d”. It worked for me.
Go to www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk to claim your FREE copy of my book "The Ultimate Guide to Personal Rebranding for Professional Females Climbing the Corporate Ladder" - go on, it really is very good!