Excerpts from my new book - Introduction by Sue Courtney

Introduction

There has probably never been a time in history when help and advice was needed more in order to successfully be promoted, get a first job or succeed in business. Life is moving ever faster and it is more vital than ever to have that little bit of extra information that will nudge you ahead of the competition and improve your chances of success.

Over the last 10 years or so there has been a proliferation of coaches, all niching in different areas and all promising they have the answer to your problem - they can stop your pain and make life perfect.

Equally, there are a growing number of stylists on the scene, all promising to make you look wonderful so your life will instantly be perfect too.

Rubbish!

In your dreams.

I spent years watching programmes like “Ten Years Younger”, “How to Look Good Naked” and the programme pioneers – Trinny & Susannah with their offerings. Even Joan Collins had a go! True, the people featured did look wonderful (mostly) by the end of the programme but the transformation rarely lasted more than a few weeks – or months at most. When the programme revisited them they had always regressed back to something of their former ‘style’.

It must have been so very frustrating for the programme makers, the stylists and the people being styled. It happened time and again and still the format didn’t change.

I grew increasingly frustrated and eventually stopped watching the programmes altogether. The solution was obvious to me and I emailed some of the shows to give them the benefit of my thoughts – which were ignored. My approach probably wouldn’t make for such exciting viewing – and it is viewing figures that count, after all.

People do need help to see through the hype and the trends to what is actually going to make them look good. It all depends on your body shape and colouring – and also on your lifestyle and job, career or business. It is absolutely no use following trends if you want to be successful or if you want to look your best at all times. I sometimes think (no I think this most of the time) that designers and manufacturers are having a laugh at our expense when I see some of the styles they ‘sell’ us as the latest ‘must-haves’ each season. And we are stupid enough to buy them! Yes – I include myself in this. I have bought clothes – and worn them – knowing that they didn’t suit me. Do you know, even though I know the rules, I sometimes still buy something I know won’t work, just because I like it – and I always regret it. I’m not immune to mistakes.

This results in people dressing inappropriately for work and so, very often, being less successful than their better dressed colleagues – even if they can do the job better. In the current economic climate this is madness –nothing short of career suicide, in my opinion.

At the other end of the scale – and no less catastrophic – people are being hired because they look the part and talk the part but actually have no understanding of the job and so fail. Their attitude is wrong and their approach misguided. There has to be a better, more authentic way to approach the topic of Personal Rebranding.

In these days of economic turmoil, when jobs are disappearing in every sector and there is more competition than ever for every job, it makes sense to have as many cards as possible stacked in your favour. To know that the job or promotion that you are applying for is right for you at this moment in time, that you believe, without any doubt, that you can do the job and that you are right for the job and also know how to go about ensuring you stand out from the competition for all the right reasons.

I know that most people HAVE to work to pay bills and provide a roof over their heads. Some are fortunate enough to be able to work to provide those lovely little extras and luxuries that make life so much more fun. But wouldn’t it be great if you were so sought after that you could do both in a job you love and know that you could go anywhere and be welcomed with open arms because you are so well thought of?

It can be like that – even in a downturn. But only if you subscribe to the belief that success can be achieved by doing what Dan Bradbury advises (I believe it is a quote from Walt Disney)

“Observe the masses – and do the opposite.”

It is a principle adopted by all the most successful people throughout history – imagine where Steve Jobs would have been if he had done the same as everyone else!

So – to be the success you can undoubtedly be – do just that. Work out what you and everyone else are doing that isn’t really working and then change – do what successful people are doing and turn your life around.

Copyright C - 2014, Sue Courtney - Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

 

 

Let Values Be Your Guide by Sue Courtney

 “What a caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the master sees as a butterfly” Richard Bach

 

The future isn’t something that just happens, by default. You create it by the thoughts you allow and by the actions you take or neglect to take. Your future is in your hands – make of it what you will. If you are seeking career success then you need to read this.

 

Life is always presenting us with new opportunities. Sometimes we simply don’t notice them because they  come dressed up in work clothes and don’t appear very inviting. Big mistake.  Firstly, remember that the mind – like a parachute – works best when open. Try to remain open to new possibilities and opportunities that come your way. So let go of any preconceived ideas, get out of your own way and allow the process to work.

 

If you aren’t experiencing the career success you would like and you feel your life needs some fine tuning, the place to start is with your core values. Now it is time to establish exactly what your core values are. Consider first the values that seem to be present, on the surface at least, in today’s society : negativity, closed-mindedness, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, cruelty, hatred, meanness, separation, dishonesty and hopelessness. They are not a very uplifting set of values and reflect a fearful and in some ways damaged mindset. There is another way, which is more uplifting and brings happiness and joy.

 

Your core values are your true essence – the authentic, inner you. If you are true to your core values then your life will feel more whole and complete and you will be happy.  At our core we are positive and loving – negative values are conditioned into us by negative news and events. We have a choice as to whether we allow life to affect us in this way or whether we will stay true to our core values and remain positive and loving. Everyone has a different set of values that they feel are vital to their wellbeing but they all have a common thread – they make your life more meaningful and fulfilling. In order to chart a meaningful path through life’s uncertainties it is vital to be clear about exactly what your values are.

 

Select ten of the most important values from the list below. If you wish to add more, feel free. You are excavating the very essence of your being so be sure to list everything that is significant in your life.

 

Love                               Security                              Health                              Happiness

Financial wealth           Adventure                           Travel                               Honesty

Power                            Passion                               Integrity                           Success

Freedom                       Understanding                    Compassion                   Trust

Loyalty                          Creativity                             Respect                           Achievement

Acceptance                  Humour                               Kindness                         Independence

Excitement                   Intimacy                              Career/work                    Ambition

Contribution                 Sincerity                              Challenge                        Variety

Conservation               Fun                                       Family

 

Now that you have a list of the most important values in your life, you need to number them in priority order and maybe group some together, if that feels right for you. You now have a personal list that you can use to inform your goal setting and provide a set of principles to inform your decision making. If you think compiling the list of your core values and prioritising them was tough – living your life to their standards is the big test. Remember, this is your personal list – if you find it isn’t quite right, you can always change it. It has to be absolutely right for you and reflect the truth of who you really are.

 

Armed with a list of your core values it is often easier to make decisions that affect how you live your life and how you plan for your future. As you begin to apply your values to all aspects of your life you may find some conflict. It may be that you work in a factory that produces disposable cups and Conservation is an important value to you. There is conflict as you need to earn a living but are working against one of your principles. Consider ways to bring harmony such as seeking employment in a company that manufactures something more in keeping with your values or maybe talk to the management about offsetting the impact the cups have by planting trees or making them from a more environmentally friendly material. You see how knowing your values can begin to explain why some areas of your life are causing internal conflict and can give you the knowledge needed to make changes that will bring your values and life into harmony.

 

If you are seeking a promotion that you know will take you away from home more or require you to work longer hours, and one of your core values is Family, then you may be self sabotaging in order to stay true to your values. A good coach (ME?) can help you to work through any such conflicts to enable a harmonious resolution.

 

One of my core values turned out to be security. Knowing this enabled me to understand why aspects of my life were causing me stress and develop a plan to overcome the issue and restore the security I need in my life.

 

Equipped with this knowledge you can now look at all aspects of your life and find answers to your questions about how to bring more happiness and harmony into each aspect. Simply relate your values to each aspect of your life and give them a rating. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well is each value represented in your relationships, finances, career and other important aspects of your life. Be absolutely honest with yourself even if the truth is a little uncomfortable or inconvenient.

 

If, knowing your values, you are still finding it difficult to embrace change because of fear, I have a little game that may help. If you are afraid of an outcome or set of events, ask yourself

“What is the worst that could possibly happen under the circumstances?” List all your ideas. Just getting them out into the open can help you to see how very unlikely they are to happen. Then ask yourself

“What would you do if the worst happened?” You would cope and having thought of some strategies can take away some of the fear. List all your possible solutions next to each challenge. Do the solutions fit with your core values? What reaction to the circumstances would fit with your values? What actions would you take if you were to be true to your values?

 

Now ask yourself

“What is the very best that could possibly happen as a result of taking this action?” Again, list every possibility you can think of, however unlikely or convoluted it may seem. Suspend disbelief. Then ask

“How could you make that wonderful circumstance happen?” List all the possible actions that you could take, in line with your values, that could lead to the best possible scenario and pick one to try first.

 

With your values to guide you, anything is possible. It is time to let the real, authentic you out. When challenges arise it is Life nudging you to find a better way and let go of what isn’t working, however comfortable its familiarity may be. Release the old to make room for the new.

 

Motivation by Sue Courtney

 Having had the opportunity to welcome Alex Thomson back to his home town of Gosport I began to wonder just exactly how he was able to motivate himself to embark on his third attempt? I hope to interview him one day and find out.
There is so much we can all learn from him.

Below I offer a few tips from an article I wrote some time ago but which I used as the basis for part of my Radio Solent interview on Goal Setting on Monday - motivation is so very vital for the achievement of goals.

Ten Top Tips for Overcoming Procrastination and Developing Motivation by Sue Courtney Procrastination and lack of motivation are the issues most frequently listed as problem areas for many of my coaching clients. Every one of us has found motivation hard to come by at one time or another and we are all guilty of procrastinating on some issues. The secret is to notice your pattern and then identify the reasons. This will enable you to take the most appropriate actions.

There are many types of procrastination and many solutions - can you identify yourself in one of these?
* You don't like the task so you put it off.
* You don't know how to do something - either the whole task or a part of it.
* You can't find the time.
* You don't really want to do what you said you would do.
* You have lost momentum and feel stuck.
* You need time to mull things over.

I offer my top ten tips for dealing with these issues.

1. Be sure it's your goal. Sometimes clients come to me saying that they have written goals and they know what they want to achieve, but they can't be bothered to do anything about it. This suggests that the goal may be wrong for them in some way. It may be that the goal is an 'inherited' goal - parents may have exerted pressure to follow a certain career path such as doctor or teacher, when my client may want to be an artist or writer. Sometimes goals fall into the 'should' category - I 'should' put in for a promotion at work (when you actually want to stay as you are, or leave).
2. Make it manageable. The goal may be the right one, but it is so huge that you may feel intimidated and not know where to start. The goal may actually be in your panic zone, not your stretch zone. In this case, the goal needs chunking down. There are several ways to do this. You could mind map each action you can identify and pick one to start on - maybe the one that seems easiest or most fun. You could mind map the necessary actions, put them in order and make a start on the first one. Alternatively, you could mentally take yourself to the end result - the achievement of your goal - and ask what was the last step you took? If that is still too big a stretch, ask what was the step before that? Keep repeating this until you have identified a step that is still a stretch for you (but you are able to take) and do this.
3. Be clear about the 'why'. "Motivation requires motive" to quote Brian Tracy. When you are clear about the consequences continued procrastination will have on your ultimate success and you understand the positive impact of taking the action over which you are procrastinating, it is easier to take action. Once you truly understand the 'cost' of your inaction on your future success and happiness you will become more motivated to complete the task.
4. Tell yourself that you can do it. Having high self-esteem - liking and respecting yourself - is vital. Procrastination is often the product of self doubt. Constantly tell yourself that you "can do it" - because you can. If you don't think you are up to the task you will feel discouraged and not want to start. Build confidence in your ability to do the job well by learning all you can about the task. Identify the most important skill necessary to complete the task well and become excellent in that skill. Be constantly alert for opportunities to upgrade your skills. Repeatedly tell yourself "I can do it."
5. Develop a sense of urgency. In his book "Eat That Frog", Brian Tracy recommends developing a sense of urgency in everything you do. Take immediate action - it frees up energy that is otherwise used in avoiding taking action or in trying to remember to do it later. He suggests repeating the phrase "Do it now. Do it now. Do it now." In this way you will become an action oriented person, developing, what Brian Tracy calls the 'Momentum Principle of Success'. Put pressure on yourself by working as though you only had one day to complete all your most important tasks before going away for a month. In this way you can become a high-achieving, high-performance personality.
6. Develop self discipline. Develop the habit of successful people and complete tasks whether or not you enjoy them. It is really a matter of integrity. If a task needs to be done and you can't delegate it or pay someone else to do it for you, you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it. Simple as that. As Nike says - "Just do it".
7. Get organised. Procrastination can often be the result of not being clear about where to start the task or of having to keep breaking off to find things. Overcome paralysing procrastination and get more done by having everything you need to hand before you begin. Remember the 6 Ps - Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Be clear about what you want to achieve and what you have to do. Plan it out and gather all the materials, equipment and information you will require then do it one step at a time. Planning saves more time than it takes - so do it.
8. Chunk it down. You wouldn't attempt to eat a whole salami in one go, you would slice it up. In the same way, a big task can seem just as daunting unless you slice it into smaller, more manageable mini-tasks. Focus on a single action that you can take and do that. Then move onto the next one. Massive goals can be achieved by taking one step at a time.
9. Develop the habit of eating your biggest and ugliest frog first. If you make a habit of completing your biggest and most difficult task first, you will free up a lot of energy and enjoy the rest of your day much more. In his book "Eat That Frog", Brian Tracy advises prioritising all your tasks and clearing those that will have the biggest impact on your success (and you would be inclined to procrastinate on) first. It is a simple strategy that is difficult to do because it required determination and organisation. It does work, try it.
10. Procrastinate on the right stuff -choose wisely. Creative procrastination or "masterful inactivity" as I call it, can be an effective strategy to adopt. Know and accept that you can't do everything and learn what you can procrastinate on. Ensure that you complete the big tasks and procrastinate on the less important tasks. My daughter has the right idea - she is a full time teacher, wife and mother and so clearly isn't going to have time to do everything. She completes the tasks for work, makes sure she can do the shopping, meals and other essentials like having time for family and leaves the rest until the holiday, weekend, someone else does it or it no longer needs doing! The Pareto Principle states that 20% of your activities contributes to 80% of value and importance, the other 80% contribute only 20% - so identify the important 20% and procrastinate or delegate the other 80%. Remember that often one item on a list of actions can be worth more than the other nine together - so ensure that you find that one and do it. Basically, your role is to deliberately procrastinate on tasks that are of less importance in order to give yourself more time to work on those that will make a real difference in your life.


I promised you ten tips but, since I like to give value, here are two more.

11. Make your work area a joy to be in. Productive people ensure that completing tasks, working on actions or achieving goals is a pleasant experience by creating a work area that they enjoy spending time in and create a feeling of professionalism. What can you do to make the achievement of your goals or completion of tasks a more enjoyable experience?
12. Change the energy. Move - do anything that will shift the energy. Go for a walk, make a cup of tea, phone a friend for a chat go to another room. Even standing up if you are sitting, will alter how you feel. Eat well, drink plenty of water and get sufficient sleep for your needs.

Finally there are two questions you could ask yourself.

"How soon might be too late?" You can put off taking action until it is too late to be effective. The cemetery is full of people who put off achieving their dreams until it was too late - don't be one of them. Get into action now, to create the life you want.

The other question is
"What are you afraid of?" and only you can answer that one - if you dare!

Copyright © 2010. Sue Courtney - Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

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