Let Values Be Your Guide by Sue Courtney

 “What a caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the master sees as a butterfly” Richard Bach

 

The future isn’t something that just happens, by default. You create it by the thoughts you allow and by the actions you take or neglect to take. Your future is in your hands – make of it what you will. If you are seeking career success then you need to read this.

 

Life is always presenting us with new opportunities. Sometimes we simply don’t notice them because they  come dressed up in work clothes and don’t appear very inviting. Big mistake.  Firstly, remember that the mind – like a parachute – works best when open. Try to remain open to new possibilities and opportunities that come your way. So let go of any preconceived ideas, get out of your own way and allow the process to work.

 

If you aren’t experiencing the career success you would like and you feel your life needs some fine tuning, the place to start is with your core values. Now it is time to establish exactly what your core values are. Consider first the values that seem to be present, on the surface at least, in today’s society : negativity, closed-mindedness, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, cruelty, hatred, meanness, separation, dishonesty and hopelessness. They are not a very uplifting set of values and reflect a fearful and in some ways damaged mindset. There is another way, which is more uplifting and brings happiness and joy.

 

Your core values are your true essence – the authentic, inner you. If you are true to your core values then your life will feel more whole and complete and you will be happy.  At our core we are positive and loving – negative values are conditioned into us by negative news and events. We have a choice as to whether we allow life to affect us in this way or whether we will stay true to our core values and remain positive and loving. Everyone has a different set of values that they feel are vital to their wellbeing but they all have a common thread – they make your life more meaningful and fulfilling. In order to chart a meaningful path through life’s uncertainties it is vital to be clear about exactly what your values are.

 

Select ten of the most important values from the list below. If you wish to add more, feel free. You are excavating the very essence of your being so be sure to list everything that is significant in your life.

 

Love                               Security                              Health                              Happiness

Financial wealth           Adventure                           Travel                               Honesty

Power                            Passion                               Integrity                           Success

Freedom                       Understanding                    Compassion                   Trust

Loyalty                          Creativity                             Respect                           Achievement

Acceptance                  Humour                               Kindness                         Independence

Excitement                   Intimacy                              Career/work                    Ambition

Contribution                 Sincerity                              Challenge                        Variety

Conservation               Fun                                       Family

 

Now that you have a list of the most important values in your life, you need to number them in priority order and maybe group some together, if that feels right for you. You now have a personal list that you can use to inform your goal setting and provide a set of principles to inform your decision making. If you think compiling the list of your core values and prioritising them was tough – living your life to their standards is the big test. Remember, this is your personal list – if you find it isn’t quite right, you can always change it. It has to be absolutely right for you and reflect the truth of who you really are.

 

Armed with a list of your core values it is often easier to make decisions that affect how you live your life and how you plan for your future. As you begin to apply your values to all aspects of your life you may find some conflict. It may be that you work in a factory that produces disposable cups and Conservation is an important value to you. There is conflict as you need to earn a living but are working against one of your principles. Consider ways to bring harmony such as seeking employment in a company that manufactures something more in keeping with your values or maybe talk to the management about offsetting the impact the cups have by planting trees or making them from a more environmentally friendly material. You see how knowing your values can begin to explain why some areas of your life are causing internal conflict and can give you the knowledge needed to make changes that will bring your values and life into harmony.

 

If you are seeking a promotion that you know will take you away from home more or require you to work longer hours, and one of your core values is Family, then you may be self sabotaging in order to stay true to your values. A good coach (ME?) can help you to work through any such conflicts to enable a harmonious resolution.

 

One of my core values turned out to be security. Knowing this enabled me to understand why aspects of my life were causing me stress and develop a plan to overcome the issue and restore the security I need in my life.

 

Equipped with this knowledge you can now look at all aspects of your life and find answers to your questions about how to bring more happiness and harmony into each aspect. Simply relate your values to each aspect of your life and give them a rating. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well is each value represented in your relationships, finances, career and other important aspects of your life. Be absolutely honest with yourself even if the truth is a little uncomfortable or inconvenient.

 

If, knowing your values, you are still finding it difficult to embrace change because of fear, I have a little game that may help. If you are afraid of an outcome or set of events, ask yourself

“What is the worst that could possibly happen under the circumstances?” List all your ideas. Just getting them out into the open can help you to see how very unlikely they are to happen. Then ask yourself

“What would you do if the worst happened?” You would cope and having thought of some strategies can take away some of the fear. List all your possible solutions next to each challenge. Do the solutions fit with your core values? What reaction to the circumstances would fit with your values? What actions would you take if you were to be true to your values?

 

Now ask yourself

“What is the very best that could possibly happen as a result of taking this action?” Again, list every possibility you can think of, however unlikely or convoluted it may seem. Suspend disbelief. Then ask

“How could you make that wonderful circumstance happen?” List all the possible actions that you could take, in line with your values, that could lead to the best possible scenario and pick one to try first.

 

With your values to guide you, anything is possible. It is time to let the real, authentic you out. When challenges arise it is Life nudging you to find a better way and let go of what isn’t working, however comfortable its familiarity may be. Release the old to make room for the new.

 

Your Time as a Caterpillar has Expired - Your Wings are Ready For Collection

 

Your Time as a Caterpillar has Expired - Your Wings are Ready for Collection by Sue Courtney

I couldn't resist that title.
It is the beginning of a Brand New Year - 2014.
What will you do with it?
You have a 365 page book in front of you - and you are the author - you decide what goes in it!
What an awesome thought - THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!!

So, with that thought in mind, a little planning might be in order.
Begin by deciding what you want to achieve in all areas of your life by the end of 2014 - include work/career, finance, family/relationships, and what ever else is important to you.
Then work out a realistic schedule of journey goals that will enable you to end the year where you want and make a quarterly plan for each area of your life.
 

• What do you need or intend to achieve from January to March?
• April to June?
• July to September?
• October to December?

Now sub-divide into journey goals or achievements for each month.
My advice - don't plan too much into each month. Be realistic - life is busy - it was hectic and busy last year, why would the new year be any different?

So be realistic, but challenging. Make your journey goals few but impactful.

Then schedule them into your diary, get yourself an "accountability buddy" or coach and make 2014 your very best year yet.

Please let me know what some of your goals are and how you are doing. Tell me how you plan to achieve them - I love hearing your stories and maybe I might be able to offer encouragement and advice.

To your amazing success in 2014 - I know you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
I believe in you.

I'm currently doing exactly what I advise my clients to do right now - after taking a well deserved break I am remembering all that contributed to making 2013 a fabulous year and I am planning how to build on that to make 2014 the best year ever. I began the planning process while "enjoying" a rather grand adventure courtesy of the effects of the weather on the UK transport system. In other words, while stuck on a train going nowhere because of a flooded line, I used the time to plan for success in 2014. I then enjoyed the adventure that was the magical mystery tour  that eventually got me home. Great fun.



My first seminar of 2014 will be on Saturday 15th February 2014, in Southampton. (UK)
I will take you through my unique 3 step MAP system for career success which includes a styling section on dressing for your shape.
In 2013 I had a job specification written specially for me!
If you would like to be in that enviable position I can show you how on Saturday 15th February 2014 in Southampton (UK)
If you are serious about getting ahead in your career this year then you need this information as soon as possible.
More information in my next newsletter - remember to keep this date free to meet me in Southampton and kick start your career success.




It's an idea I saw on Facebook. Take 1 large jar and, beginning on January 1st, fill it with little notes about all the amazing things that happen to you - surprise gifts, goals achieved, memories worth saving, daily blessings, moments that make you laugh out loud, special events ....... whatever is special to you. On December 31st 2014 you empty it out and realise how blessed you were over the year. I have bought one for each of my family as well as myself and I can't wait to begin using it. (Actually, my son has cheated a bit. He got a new guitar on 31st December and has put that in the jar - a day early! No matter, I love his enthusiasm).
Try it - it will focus your mind on all that is good in your life, which will ensure you get more of the good stuff!
Let me know how it goes.



These days it is more important than ever to create the right first impression - positive, professional and authentic - if you want to achieve career success. So often women are overlooked for promotions and it is my mission to stop all that.

I work with ambitious, professional career women just like yourself, to achieve the success you want. You should be able to climb as high up the career ladder as you wish and enjoy the same opportunities as your male colleagues.

To achieve this I have developed my unique 3 step MAP system and I deliver it in a variety of ways - as a
  

• One day and two-day seminars where you access my complete MAP system and start your journey to career success.
• Special, intensive, luxury weekend where you access the whole of my MAP system in luxurious surroundings, so you can return to work next day and start implementing what you have learnt, with the added bonus of 60 days support from me to ensure you take action
• My personalised Promotion Programme where I work 1 to 1 with you to achieve your career goals and support you for the first 90 days in post.

The programme deals with developing a powerful mindset, taking actions that will give you the edge over your competition and then restyling to present the right image for success.
Best wishes

Sue Courtney
Personal Rebranding for Career Success

Redundancy or Release

Redundancy - or Release?

In these economically uncertain times there is increasing talk about ‘redundancy’. It is a word that sends shivers of fear down the spine of many people today, but what does it really mean?

According to the dictionary, ‘redundant ‘ means “superfluous, no longer needed”. In the thesaurus, similar words are “surplus, unnecessary, unwanted”. Who wants to feel they are any of these? The word ‘redundant’ does not have positive connotations. However, truth be told, it is not the person that is redundant, it is the job – you just happen to be filling it!

If viewed positively, it could be the best thing that ever happened to you, after all ”every cloud has a silver lining” or so they say.

I think the process should be called ‘release’. This may bring to mind being released from prison, but I am sure that many of us have, at some time, felt as if our jobs imprison us and stop us doing what we would truly love to do with our lives.

So redundancy can give life to dreams and ambitions that have been buried under layers of habit, fear and procrastination for years. Redundancy is one of the biggest fears as it takes away security, regular income, status and identity. But it gives a lot as well – the opportunity to take stock and redesign your life.

Have you ever asked yourself what success means to you?

Anthony Robbins defines success in the following terms:

“Success is doing what you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want”

Your definition will be as individual as you are, but I suspect that as well as a certain amount of money and security there will be a thought as to the way the money and security is gained. Few people have the opportunity to achieve success in their chosen field of endeavour because obligations of family and home take priority over an authentic life. If you are facing the threat of redundancy, or have recently experienced it then you have the perfect opportunity to reconsider your whole future and change the outcome.

It is often the case that we won’t jump voluntarily but wait until pushed. As a child I was taught to dive. It terrified me, mostly, I think, because I have an irrational fear of being upside-down. So I would stand on the side of the pool, perfectly poised to dive but not actually taking the plunge. I knew what to do but didn’t dare do it. Instead I waited until someone came along and pushed me because they couldn’t stand it any longer. Think of redundancy as the Universe giving you that push to lead a more authentic life.

Many of us suffer a sense of disappointment our whole life, not because we don’t have love and fun in our lives but because we aren’t brave enough to make changes and admit what we would truly love to do, in case it upsets the status quo. Many who have faced redundancy have the feeling that they have somehow failed, even though it is not their fault and they have done nothing wrong. Indeed they may have been the model employee.

Many who do not experience redundancy would love the opportunity to make the change and move out of jobs they hate, but are terrified to risk change despite the damage it is doing to their self esteem and inner happiness. On the outside you may appear a success but only you will know how successful you really feel.

In many cases redundancy is firmly in our panic zone and is to be avoided at all costs, but when it happens, what can be done? Firstly know that you have not failed, the universe is forcing you to take hold of a new opportunity, giving you the chance to rethink and redesign your future. It has been said that the worst thing in life isn’t failing, it’s never having tried.

A coach can guide you to a place where you can access your own inner wisdom and take charge of your future. It may be an unfamiliar feeling to have choices as to the direction you might like to take and how you would like your future to be. How fortunate you are to have this ‘problem’. It usually comes with a cash cushion to enable you to take a little time to consider your options or to simplify your life by paying off mortgage or loan. Not many have this golden time for reflection – embrace it.

Many people say they feel they have let down their family – especially their children. I have news for you – staying in a job you hate just for them is letting them down far more. Children admire parents who have the courage to make the change – they are the inspiring ones who dare to go after their dreams. By doing so they give their children permission to do the same. I wonder how many parents have told their children to find a job that makes them happy, while staying in a job they clearly hate? Children know when you aren’t walking the talk – you owe it to them. My son often tells people that he finds me the most inspiring person he knows – because I had the courage to quit a well paid job and pursue my dreams. He is now doing the same!

Ask yourself what your ideal day would be – where would you live?

 Who would you spend time with?

 What would you do with your day?

What would you eat?

 What would you wear?

Write it out in minute detail – really feel it, get passionate about it. If there is no passion, think again. Keep playing with the idea until your true desires surface – maybe kicking and screaming at the unaccustomed daylight (they have been hiding in the darkest recesses for many years, possibly your whole life) and feel the passion they unleash.

Now take each aspect of the dream and find out exactly what it is that holds the appeal for you – what makes you want it? Then ask what you need to do, or know to make it happen. Do you need to learn new skills? Taking on the services of a coach can make the process a

lot quicker and less frightening. You will be guided at your pace and will work entirely to your agenda. The coach is non-judgemental and gives you space to explore who you really are and what you really want by asking incisive questions.

Once you have some ideas you then need to make a plan of the order in which actions need to be taken. Find out about courses, ask about financial support and advice, talk to family and friends openly and honestly about the situation. To be on your side they need to know the reality of the situation – it isn’t anything to be ashamed of. It is an opportunity to celebrate – you are very fortunate.

Once you have a plan then you must take action. This is another area where a coach can be an enormous benefit. A coach will help you explore the possible barriers to action so you can work to remove them and then a coach will hold you accountable for the actions you have decided to take. You will have to explore deeply the reasons for not taking action – this often spurs people on to do what they say – so much easier!

SO, redundancy is a good thing – if you decide it is. I think there should be a new definition of the word which should be “ a golden opportunity to redesign your life and achieve your authentic goals and ambitions”. It’s much easier to do this with the support that redundancy offers than it is without it. So smile, be grateful for the shove that the Universe has given you and go get your dream life – it’s got your name on and it’s waiting for you to claim it as your own. Have a great future!

For more information go to www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk
www.successandimagecoach.co.uk
www.suecourtney.com

The "Ideal Job" Hat

This week the members of my networking group decided to shake things up a bit by wearing a hat which represented our business. There were some wonderful headwear ranging from Julie's which sported lovely yellow rosebuds fashioned from dusters and leaves made from scourers (she has a cleaning company) to Yvonne who wore a hard hat with a phone on the front and a lightbulb on the back, which actually lit up when you pulled a cord! (She is with Utility Warehouse).

 Mine was covered in maps to represent my Unique 3 Step MAP System - well, you wouldn't set out to travel from where you are to somewhere new and different without some means of identifying potential routes, would you?

I then addes a "Sindy" doll wrapped in my book "The Ultimate Guide to Personal Rebranding for Professional Females Climbing the Corporate Ladder"(www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk )
 - well, what else does a girl need? The book is packed full of tips and ideas to help you move your career forward!

She is climbing a ladder - the "corporate ladder" of the book title - looking radiantly happy and proudly holding her achievements - happiness, money, success & fulfillment!

This visually represents what I do. I work with ambitious women like yourself to achieve the career success and life that you want by working with my MAP system

• M - you develop a Masterful Mindset to ensure your success
• A - you decide which Amazing Actions will lead to your career success. You then plan them in detail and implement them.
• P - you then develop your Powerful Presence through learning what to wear to flatter your shape and present a professional and stylish image to the world both at work and out.

If you had a hat to represent your ideal job, what would be on it?
Why have you chosen thos items?

What is the essence of the career you want and the lifestyle you seek?

If you would like to learn more about my Unique 3 Step MAP System then please watch this short, five minute video where I explain it in more detail.

http://youtu.be/_lHatfqjN4I

In the meantime, I will leave you with a couple more photos of my "business" hat. I think my grandson looks rather wonderful in it - he certainly thought it was hilarious. I wonder what he will tell his teachers about his nana's hat?!

Ascot here I come!

I would really like to hear from you and see photos of your "ideal job" hat - what you have on it and why you have chosen those items. So please email me at

sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk

Copyright - 2012, Sue Courtney - Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

Love the Life You've Got Now (While You Work To Improve It)

Love the Life you’ve got now

(while you work to improve it)

On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your life at the moment? I imagine not many of you can honestly say ten to all areas of your life – it just doesn’t work like that, does it? There are usually one or two areas that are working better than others and a few that need a complete overhaul. But what can you do about it? In her book “Simple Abundance. A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests that you bloom where you are planted. Right at this moment you may not have the perfect career, home or relationship but you do have the opportunity to make it as good as you possibly can today, and plan how you are going to improve it further tomorrow.

 Recently I introduced my local Chamber of Commerce to the Wheel of Life, a coaching tool to structure an assessment of how each area of your life or business is doing. It then leads on to developing an action plan to improve the situation and move closer to the life you truly want. Blooming where you are, or making the most of your current life is a good place to start, but there is absolutely no reason to accept it as your lot in life. Using the Wheel of Life you can begin to plan small adjustments that will lead you to achieve the life you would like.

The wheel of life is a circle, divided into six segments, each of which is further divided into 5 sections. The first step is to decide which area of your life or business you will assign to each segment. You could choose career, finance, family, relationships, leisure, home – whatever seems appropriate to you.

For each area of life you then decide what perfection would look like and feel like to you. You can’t make your life perfect for someone else, only you. Let them sort out their own life, this is for you and you alone. So if one area is home, what would your ideal home look like? Where would it be? How many rooms would it have? How would the house be furnished? What would the garden look like? Make it as real and inspiring as possible. Then ask yourself why you want it to be like this? What is the essence of the vision? Is it ‘old world charm’ when you currently live on the fourth floor of a modern apartment block or ‘modern minimalist’ when you are juggling the demands of full time work and four children? If you know the essence of what you are trying to achieve then you may be able to introduce little aspects of it into your current life to make things a little more bearable.

If leisure is an area you have chosen to focus on, ask what you would love to do with your leisure if time and money were no object? Would you eat out more, go to shows or concerts, have several holidays a year, join a golf club or go windsurfing or horse riding or dancing?  Then ask yourself what is the core reason? What is the feeling you will have when you are able to spend your leisure doing what you love? Once you know the essence of the activity ask how you can inject a little of that into your leisure now. What could you do now to give a bit of that feeling?

OK, you get the idea. The next section asks you to rate your current life against the goal of perfection which you identified in the previous section. One indicates that nothing works and the area needs a complete overhaul. Ten indicates that perfection has already been attained. If you join all the numbers up around the wheel you may end up with a fairly even circle at about 5 or 6. You may, though, have a rather jagged circle with some peaks and troughs. This will indicate the areas of your life which need most urgent action and those which are not too bad at present.

Outside the wheel are a series of boxes labelled ‘Strengths’. There is one box for each segment of the wheel. In each box you can list everything that is working in each area. What is quite good? What could you build on? In home you could list that you actually have a home or a room that you can work on. In leisure it may be that you actually have an hour or so to call your own each week. Dig deep and be as positive as possible. They say you get more of what you focus on so maximise the good.

So now you know what perfection would look and feel like, you know how life currently rates and you have identified what is currently good in your life. Next you go round the wheel and ask the question

“If there was just one thing I could do that would move me a small step closer to my goal of perfection in this area what would it be?”

If more than one idea comes to mind then list them and decide which you feel most compelled to do. At the moment they are just ideas that you could do if you chose to. What would have to do to cause some positive change?

What one thing could you do to get the process started?

What are the barriers that may stop you from taking this action or achieving your goal in this area of life? This is a really important aspect of the process so please don’t skimp on it. The barriers may be physical such as not living in the right sort of house or not having any spare time. They may also be self imposed limiting beliefs that you need to identify and deal with before you can successfully achieve your goals. Whatever they turn out to be, take them seriously and give them the attention they require. If you know what you are dealing with you are better able to take the appropriate action. If you don’t have any spare time then you might consider reorganising your time, re-prioritising tasks and delegating. If you don’t live in the right sort of house could you do a bit of clever decorating and accessorising?

If you have limiting beliefs then take advice from Anthony Robbins. He says that beliefs are like a table top, they have to be supported by a certain number of legs or evidence. The trick is to destroy the legs of the beliefs by finding enough evidence to the contrary. Then make a new, empowering belief and actively seek evidence to support the new belief. It may take time but it will be well worth the effort.

The final step is to list all the actions you need to take to reach ten in each area and do something each day to move you towards that goal. Paul McKenna suggests making a time line to show the steps you will have to have taken in order to get from where you are to where you want to be. This is not a quick process but you may find that by focussing on one area for a while – maybe the one that will have the biggest impact on your life, or the one that seems easiest to start with – other areas will be improved as a result. Life is, after all, interconnected and creating the life you truly want should be a lifetimes work. There will always be new goals to achieve to replace the goals achieved. Enjoy the journey it is all part of your life and you deserve to have the life you want.

One action you could take is to go to www.freepersonalrebrandingbook.co.uk to claim your copy of my FREE book "The Ultimate Guide to Personal Rebranding for Professional Females Climbing the Corporate Ladder". Go on - it's really very good!

One final thought, for now – if you find yourself stuck and you are struggling to achieve a goal it could be that your goal and your values are in conflict. Your goal may be to embark on a risky financial venture when your key value around finances is stability. Take some time to discover your core values in relation to each area on the wheel and ask yourself whether your goals are compatible with your values.

If you would like to explore more then go to my website where you can purchase my “Wheel of Life” CD and Workbook set. This will really get you moving in the right direction and taking action.

Have a look at www.successandimagecoach.co.uk

Copyright © - 2011, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

Try Before You Buy

Try Before You Buy by Sue Courtney

In 2010 I was in Goa fulfilling several goals and also trialling living there to see if it would suit me long term. This had been a goal for some years and I was very fortunate to be in a position to try the life I thought I wanted to live before making any firm commitments. Trying a lifestyle or goal is vitally important, I have done it on several occasions as it can serve two purposes. Firstly it enables your visualising of accomplishing the goal to feel real as you can exactly place where doors are in a house or see the real view from the window in your mind’s eye, making the visualisation more realistic. You are in a position to really feel the goal and so make the effects of the visualisation much stronger. This was how it worked when I took the car of my dreams for a test drive. It confirmed my belief that I would love to own the car, which I now do.

Alternatively, if the goal turns out to be not what you want after all, you have the opportunity to make a new choice before it is too late. This was the case when I made an appointment to view a house that I particularly liked in Chichester, some years ago. I realised, very quickly, that I wouldn’t like to live in the house and so I was able to delete that goal from my list and make a new choice.

So, either way it is a useful tool to employ, if you possibly can. So I went to Goa to do just that. As the plane landed I removed the rose – coloured spectacles through which I had previously viewed the state and vowed to really get a true idea of how it would feel to live there. I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, which was a wonderfully educational experience.

With each day and each new experience I asked myself

“Would this make me happy every day?”

Of course, in order to do this I had to spend a great deal of time figuring out what actually does make me happy. I have had to work out what I need to be present to make my life feel “good” and what I need to be absent to make my life feel “good”. These are not always easy or comfortable questions to ask.

 I have discovered a worryingly low boredom threshold, meaning that I am not able to spend very long at all sitting around doing nothing. I always suspected that I wasn’t very good at it, but I become twitchy and fidgety very quickly. I have also discovered that I am not prepared to “dress down” every day in t-shirt and skirt. I like to dress up and look my best, wearing nice clothes and shoes. Flip-flops and a bikini just don’t do it for me all the time. I have also noticed that I like to have the option to visit the theatre, the cinema of enjoy a meal in a smart restaurant when the fancy takes me (admittedly it doesn’t take me very often, but I need to have the option available, for when it does).

Clearly, I have changed. I am no longer the “closet hippie”. I need other things. In all honesty I don’t know whether I would ever have been able to sustain the look and the lifestyle for long, but the necessity to discover the truth of the situation has been very instructive. I am more realistic now, I think.

I was there during the Hindu festival of Holi. I had never experienced it before and knew nothing of its significance, but I am very glad that I experienced it while I was there. Holi is a festival of high spirits – large groups of brightly dressed Hindu women moved up and down the beach, singing and shouting whilst holding bags of powder paint. They were all covered in the colourful powder and looked as if they were ready to throw the colours over the tourists as sometimes happens. They didn’t, but a Rajastani woman came up to me and, dipping her thumb in her crisp packet of yellow powder paint, she placed a smudge of it over my “third eye”. I had been “Holi’d”! I gave her some money and thought no more about it. With the heat and sweat the paint changed colour from yellow to red and remained for about twenty four hours, surviving two showers.

That is when things really changed. I got real and honest and realised that not only would living there no longer work for me, but that nowhere other than England was going to do. After years of believing that “the grass was greener” in other countries and that I could be happier somewhere else I have reached something akin to enlightenment! It feels really good. I feel more at peace as I know that I no longer have to search for the right place to settle – I’m there already. I am reminded of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz as she mutters “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home....”.

I am so very lucky to have had the opportunity to discover this. If I hadn’t I would either have made a big mistake or spent the rest of my life disconsolately imagining that I could be happier somewhere else and bitterly wondering “What if..”. I feel a great weight has been lifted and I can now get on with my life.

As, I have already mentioned, I have discovered a very low boredom threshold and so I have managed to read a vast number of books while I have been here, as well as doing quite a lot of writing. Most of the books are not those I would normally entertain but I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed most of them – I’m still learning about myself and what I like! I romped through a five hundred page “chic lit” novel in two days but the biggest literary surprise has been an unusual novel “The Saddlebag” by Bahiyyih Nakhjavani. I have found it compelling in a way I would never have believed. It is set in the mid nineteenth century and tells the tales of nine individuals as they travel the route between Mecca and Medina. The saddlebag of the title holds writings. As each traveller removes one from the bag and reads it they realise that it is strangely relevant to their life and questions they need to address. Fascinating. A sort of Middle Eastern “Canterbury Tales”.

So I wondered what message I would have discovered, rolled up and wrapped in silk, if I had found the saddlebag? The answer I received was startling. Apparently I would have received the instructions to plan more carefully, “conduct due diligence” more often and take a more measured approach to life. The answer came instantly and is so true.

So, if you are contemplating making changes in your life I urge you to “try before you buy” wherever possible and to really get to know what makes you happy before committing to a course of action. Alternatively you could just go to Goa and be “Holi’d”. It worked for me.
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