Let Values Be Your Guide by Sue Courtney

 “What a caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the master sees as a butterfly” Richard Bach

 

The future isn’t something that just happens, by default. You create it by the thoughts you allow and by the actions you take or neglect to take. Your future is in your hands – make of it what you will. If you are seeking career success then you need to read this.

 

Life is always presenting us with new opportunities. Sometimes we simply don’t notice them because they  come dressed up in work clothes and don’t appear very inviting. Big mistake.  Firstly, remember that the mind – like a parachute – works best when open. Try to remain open to new possibilities and opportunities that come your way. So let go of any preconceived ideas, get out of your own way and allow the process to work.

 

If you aren’t experiencing the career success you would like and you feel your life needs some fine tuning, the place to start is with your core values. Now it is time to establish exactly what your core values are. Consider first the values that seem to be present, on the surface at least, in today’s society : negativity, closed-mindedness, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, cruelty, hatred, meanness, separation, dishonesty and hopelessness. They are not a very uplifting set of values and reflect a fearful and in some ways damaged mindset. There is another way, which is more uplifting and brings happiness and joy.

 

Your core values are your true essence – the authentic, inner you. If you are true to your core values then your life will feel more whole and complete and you will be happy.  At our core we are positive and loving – negative values are conditioned into us by negative news and events. We have a choice as to whether we allow life to affect us in this way or whether we will stay true to our core values and remain positive and loving. Everyone has a different set of values that they feel are vital to their wellbeing but they all have a common thread – they make your life more meaningful and fulfilling. In order to chart a meaningful path through life’s uncertainties it is vital to be clear about exactly what your values are.

 

Select ten of the most important values from the list below. If you wish to add more, feel free. You are excavating the very essence of your being so be sure to list everything that is significant in your life.

 

Love                               Security                              Health                              Happiness

Financial wealth           Adventure                           Travel                               Honesty

Power                            Passion                               Integrity                           Success

Freedom                       Understanding                    Compassion                   Trust

Loyalty                          Creativity                             Respect                           Achievement

Acceptance                  Humour                               Kindness                         Independence

Excitement                   Intimacy                              Career/work                    Ambition

Contribution                 Sincerity                              Challenge                        Variety

Conservation               Fun                                       Family

 

Now that you have a list of the most important values in your life, you need to number them in priority order and maybe group some together, if that feels right for you. You now have a personal list that you can use to inform your goal setting and provide a set of principles to inform your decision making. If you think compiling the list of your core values and prioritising them was tough – living your life to their standards is the big test. Remember, this is your personal list – if you find it isn’t quite right, you can always change it. It has to be absolutely right for you and reflect the truth of who you really are.

 

Armed with a list of your core values it is often easier to make decisions that affect how you live your life and how you plan for your future. As you begin to apply your values to all aspects of your life you may find some conflict. It may be that you work in a factory that produces disposable cups and Conservation is an important value to you. There is conflict as you need to earn a living but are working against one of your principles. Consider ways to bring harmony such as seeking employment in a company that manufactures something more in keeping with your values or maybe talk to the management about offsetting the impact the cups have by planting trees or making them from a more environmentally friendly material. You see how knowing your values can begin to explain why some areas of your life are causing internal conflict and can give you the knowledge needed to make changes that will bring your values and life into harmony.

 

If you are seeking a promotion that you know will take you away from home more or require you to work longer hours, and one of your core values is Family, then you may be self sabotaging in order to stay true to your values. A good coach (ME?) can help you to work through any such conflicts to enable a harmonious resolution.

 

One of my core values turned out to be security. Knowing this enabled me to understand why aspects of my life were causing me stress and develop a plan to overcome the issue and restore the security I need in my life.

 

Equipped with this knowledge you can now look at all aspects of your life and find answers to your questions about how to bring more happiness and harmony into each aspect. Simply relate your values to each aspect of your life and give them a rating. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well is each value represented in your relationships, finances, career and other important aspects of your life. Be absolutely honest with yourself even if the truth is a little uncomfortable or inconvenient.

 

If, knowing your values, you are still finding it difficult to embrace change because of fear, I have a little game that may help. If you are afraid of an outcome or set of events, ask yourself

“What is the worst that could possibly happen under the circumstances?” List all your ideas. Just getting them out into the open can help you to see how very unlikely they are to happen. Then ask yourself

“What would you do if the worst happened?” You would cope and having thought of some strategies can take away some of the fear. List all your possible solutions next to each challenge. Do the solutions fit with your core values? What reaction to the circumstances would fit with your values? What actions would you take if you were to be true to your values?

 

Now ask yourself

“What is the very best that could possibly happen as a result of taking this action?” Again, list every possibility you can think of, however unlikely or convoluted it may seem. Suspend disbelief. Then ask

“How could you make that wonderful circumstance happen?” List all the possible actions that you could take, in line with your values, that could lead to the best possible scenario and pick one to try first.

 

With your values to guide you, anything is possible. It is time to let the real, authentic you out. When challenges arise it is Life nudging you to find a better way and let go of what isn’t working, however comfortable its familiarity may be. Release the old to make room for the new.

 

Why are you treating yourself like a second-class citizen?

How are you being treated by other people?

Well?

Dreadfully?

The truth is that you are being treated as well as you allow.

Makes you stop and think, doesn’t it?

If you aren’t currently being treated as fairly, graciously, respectfully and politely as you would like – take a look at the way you treat

a)     Yourself

b)    Others.

The answer is in one of those two or, possibly both.

If you aren’t treating yourself with kindness, courtesy and respect others will pick up on this.

You may now be wondering how they would know how you treat yourself – well there are many outward signs that you may not be aware of.

People pick up on the visible signs first – 55% of people’s first impression of you comes from your visual appearance. So, beginning at the top

·        Is your hair well cut, coloured (if you use colour), clean and well groomed?

·        Is your makeup well applied – not to heavy, but enhancing your natural features?

·        Are your clothes neat, flattering to your body shape, appropriate for your age and position, clean and well maintained?

·        Are your accessories minimal, discreet, appropriate?

·        Are you using the latest technology in mobile phone, iPad, other mobile technology?

·        Are your shoes well maintained, comfortable, appropriate and stylish?

·        Do you carry spare tights/nails/makeup as required?

Do you begin to get the idea? Open your mouth to speak carelessly, do careless work, arrive late or leave early or forget appointments and it is easy to see that you aren’t treating yourself with respect. If you don’t, chances are most other people won’t either.

By your actions or inactions you are silently allowing others to treat you as the second class citizen that you treat yourself.

Onto b). How are you treating others? If you are careless of their feelings, putting them down at every opportunity, gossiping, criticising and moaning then the majority of people will be less than willing to go out of their way to be kind and thoughtful to you. They will, most likely treat you as you treat them, which seems only fair.

What most will fail to realise is that this behaviour, too, is a manifestation of your low self esteem.

Either way, if you don’t appear to feel you are worthy of respect and courtesy others will treat you as you show them by your treatment of yourself.

The answer – should be blindingly obvious by now.

Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve by taking outrageously good care of yourself and see what happens.

Now I don’t mean go out and buy everything you want, eat and drink what you want and run up a huge bill. No, No, No. Quite the opposite.

To take outrageously good care of yourself you need to ensure you eat a healthy, balanced diet, drink plenty of water, get sufficient sleep for your needs and exercise most days.

Then you need to apply my principles of investment dressing to your shopping – remembering that less is more. Buying only the best you can afford and only what works for you. Take great care of all your clothes and get up in time to ensure your hair, makeup and clothes are as good as possible before you leave the house every morning. No last minute rushing, pulling on anything that comes to hand, hurriedly pulling wet or unwashed hair up into a band and applying makeup en route to work, grabbing a coffee and bun as you fly past the cafe because you didn’t have time for breakfast.

Take care of you bank balance by careful and thoughtful purchases – ask questions before you buy anything.

Have a go at these ideas and let me know what happens.

You know you’re worth it.

Copyright © 2013, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All rights reserved.

 

Would YOU Employ you?

Seriously – would you employ you?

Is your brand strong and professional?

If you want to be considered a serious contender for promotion or a new job you need to be certain that your ‘brand’ conveys the right message and the people who need to know this actually get the message – loud and clear.

So where can you begin in your assessment of your potential promotability? (I may have made up a new word there). By asking yourself a few searching questions and giving yourself honest answers, that’s where. If you want to get ahead then you need to devote time and effort to cultivate the impression of being the person the company want to nurture and promote because they perceive they need you.

It isn’t enough to know that you are doing a great job, putting in extra hours and being a wonderful role model if nobody notices. So you need to develop a plan to ensure that over the next few months you bring the attention of everyone to your full potential for career development within the company. Of course, if your answers to the following questions demonstrate you actually aren’t currently promotiable (another new word!) then there is even m ore work to do.

Let us begin.

·         Right now, in your current position, do you stand out (preferably for the right reasons) or do you blend in with the masses? Guess which one you need to be considered a serious contender for promotion? Yes, you need to stand out as being exceptional. You also need to look like a promotion prospect, which means dressing for the role to which you aspire, not the same as everyone else. My Wardrobe De-Tox sessions (http://www.successandimagecoach.co.uk/wardrobe-de-tox/http://www.successandimagecoach.co.uk/wardrobe-de-tox/) are exactly what you need to address this issue. The matter is also covered in my Exclusive, Intensive MAP Weekends and also my weekend MAP seminars.

·         How do you show up for work? Are you early, on time or late on most days? Are you seen as enthusiastic and upbeat or are you one of the moaners at the water fountain? Are you organised or inefficient in your use of time? Does your employer get value for money from you or do you waste a lot of valuable work time? Do you care about the company or is it just a job?

·         Do you have a vision of where you want to be in the company in one, five or ten years from now and do you spend time, money and effort learning new skills that would enhance your value to the company? Is your employer aware of this? My Exclusive, Intensive MAP Weekends and my weekend MAP seminars devote a session to considering skills that may be necessary for career progression.

·         Do you have a written plan for how you propose to add value to the company? Does your employer know about it? Are you proactive or do you just turn up and do what you are told, without any thought of your own?

·         Do you know anything about your employers, outside work? Do they know anything about you? These days, building meaningful relationships is important. You need to know what is important to your employer and they need to know what is important to you. Of course, to be really effective – first, YOU need to know what is important to you. Again, time is given to this in my Exclusive, Intensive MAP Weekends and my weekend MAP seminars (email me at sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk for details of the next event).

So now you have a brief outline of some questions you might ask yourself to ascertain whether you are currently displaying the necessary professional ‘brand’ that will make applying for promotion a formality.

What do you need to do now? Only you can answer that question. But my purpose is to give you that competitive edge that will set you above your competition in the mind of your employer. So check out my website at www.successandimagecoach.co.uk or email me at sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk to let me know what you need from me.

The full version of this article will be published exclusively for Silver and Gold Support Programme members. Email me at sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk for details of the programmes.

Copyright © 2013, Sue Courtney – Success & Image Ltd. All Rights Reserved.